I know that is a To Write Love on Her Arms phrase. But that’s okay. When I was thinking about what to title this post, that is what popped into my mind. 

This has been the best and worst year of my life.

I got so many opportunities. I got to go to San Francisco, Puerto Rico, Seattle, Nashville, Florida, etc. All of those to pursue my passion. I met the most amazing people. My business did better than I could have imagined. I got to photograph so many beautiful people. 

However, I struggled so much this year. I struggled with who I was. I struggled to figure out my place in life. I struggled with the fact that I am an introvert in a world that tells me that’s not okay. I struggle with anxiety. When I’m in a group of people, I will contemplate for a long time if what I want to say is stupid and if anyone will even care.

I struggled with that the most.

“Will anyone even care?”

Will anyone even care about my art?

Will anyone even care about what I have to say?

Will anyone even care about my feelings?

Will anyone even care if I don’t go?

No. Some people won’t care. A lot of people won’t care. But you need to find the ones that will. There are people that care. They might not be where you expected to find them, but they do care. 

I still struggle with all of that. I’m sitting here, trying not to cry, because again I’m asking myself, “Will anyone even care?”

You have to chose to put people in your life that give you life, and choose to put people out of your life that take away life. Surround yourself with people that care, that ask questions, that ask the why. 

 

I have set goals for myself for the next year. All goals that give me life, or give others life. 

 

1. Travel. Travel makes my heart so happy. My goal is to travel somewhere every month. So far I have Florida, Georgia, California, and Norway. Whether the trip is big or small, I just want to experience it all. I don’t have a ton of bills to pay, so now is the time to do it. I don’t want to look back and wonder why I didn’t go while I could. If that means working a side job or two, then so be it. I just want to go.
2. Take a self portrait every month. I am expecting to grow immensely this next year. I want to capture where I am at that time. I want to capture what I look like, what color hair I have, new tattoos. I never want my grandkids or great grandkids to look back and not have a photo of me because I was always behind the camera. I want my creativity that I have in my self portraits, to inspire everyone that follows me.
3. Take more photos of the ones I love. I want to capture my friends as I see them. I want them to look at pictures of themselves and go “Wow. Is that how they see me? I’m so loved.” or “Oh hey, I look cool.” I also want to keep the pictures for myself. I want to remember who I was friends with at different times. I want to look back when I’m a cute old lady and remember how good looking me and my friends were when we were in our 20’s.
4. Take more photos of things that give me life. I want to take candids of me and my friends. I want to take pictures of me and my family on trips. I want to photograph all of my newly married friends with the one they love. I want to take more candids of my boyfriend and I. I want to capture love.
5. Do more film work. Last year I took a Black and White Darkroom class and fell in love with film photography. I would love to do more of that.
6. I want to rebrand. I want to create a simple website that completely encapsulates my work and my goal in it.

 

I want to capture love. That is my goal. I want to show love. I want to feel love. I want people to feel loved by me. 

 

What are your goals for this next year? How are you going to show love?